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There, I’ve said it: I wanted someone to text all day, and watch TV with.
I am skittish about relationships, as most of the marriages I’ve seen up close have been ruinous for one or both parties.
The prophet tells us, “Your old will have visions; your young will dream dreams.” Elderly women in a retirement community in Mill Valley protested the war in Iraq on a busy thoroughfare with placards every Friday for years. But one dream coming true doesn’t mean you give up on other lifelong dreams.
A man I know of 22, halfway to a medical degree, is pursuing ballet dreams in New York City. You’re not dream-greedy to want, say, a cool career and a mate.
But sometimes I am lonely for a partner, a soul mate, a husband. I rarely missed sex: I had tiny boundary issues in all those years of drinking, and by my early 20s I had used up my lifelong allotment. I do love what Wodehouse called the old oompus-boompus when it happens to be in progress, but wouldn’t go out of my way.
Additionally, I have spent approximately 1,736 hours of this one precious life waiting for the man to finish, and pretending that felt good. What I missed was checking in all day with my person, daydreaming about him, and watching TV together at night.
I recoil even from the word “date,” let alone the concept of possibly beginning a romantic relationship. I have an almost perfect life, even though I’ve been single since my last long-term boyfriend and I broke up four years ago.
I really do, insofar as that is possible in this vale of tears — a cherished family, a grandchild, church, career, sobriety, two dogs, daily hikes, naps, perfect friends.
Some people my age — extreme middle-age — train for marathons, or paddle down the Amazon, skydive, or adopt. And having realized this one long-shot dream with my grown child gave me the confidence to try something even harder: to date.
The thing was, I had just done something brave, which was to write a memoir with my son, tour the East Coast together, and appear on stages before hundreds of people at a time.
Simple and to the point, Victoria Milan, offers some pretty snazzy features.