‘Forty is a huge cut-off point for a lot of men,’ Ruthie explains.‘There was just one I met and we had a fantastic evening.This is a big departure from my past relationships where the main attractions for me tended to be adventure, talent, and substance abuse instead of common values and lifestyles — in other words, I liked to date musicians.
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The woman, who is divorced but says she would love to be married again, describes herself as being ‘on the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids’ and bewails her place in ‘relationship no-man’s land’, condemned to be alone for the rest of her days.
Her outpourings, which convey with unflinching honesty the huge difficulties older women can face finding a man, have caused quite a stir on women’s internet chat forums.
‘I always had boyfriends when I was younger and assumed I would again after James was born,’ she says. These chats were fun — and sometimes quite flirty — but if I ever suggested we meet, the men would often back off, saying they were not looking for a relationship.’A dozen or so dates followed over the years, none of them quite right.
When she last registered with an online dating site she was 44 — and few men made contact.
It’s a lot easier for a man to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, wrinkle free 28-year-old, which is why so many men try to go in that direction. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men.
Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER? Before any 40 people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 43..
It is the easiest relationship I have ever been in.